clowny clown clown

So, I suppose I haven't written in quite some time. I guess I've been up to a lot and not much, both at the same time. This is just going to be a quick update, to let you all know that I'm still here, still alive, and still well.. for the most part. No, actually things have been going pretty swimmingly.. classes are much better this semester. East Asian Philosophy in Literature still continues to blow my mind, in the best way imaginable. I'm still trying to find a way to get out of my Art History class which is a complete drag. Everything we learn in class is taken directly out of the book she assigned us... plus, she is super hardcore militant about attendance. Apparently if you miss more than 2 classes, you automatically get dropped down a letter grade. I've missed 3. Fuck. I love love LOVE my Korean class. Korean class always seems to be the funnest one... last semester, I also adored my class. Our teacher now is ridiculous.. he's so adorable and hilarious, and a great teacher to boot. Every Friday, we bring snacks... Snack Friday! Last Friday, we had such a wide array of snackage.. Krispy Kreme donuts, cookies, candy bars, dumplings, kimbab.... holy shit! And today was one of our classmates' birthdays so we each chipped in a few bucks to buy him a cake. Awwww. We're totally the new Gelly/James/Peter's class from last semester(except... dare I say it? EVEN BETTER!.. haha just kidding, wow now I am going to get hateful messages from the aforementioned friends). My Korean class rules. Fucking period.

My older brother Aaron is here visiting me and we are having a grand time. It's definitely nice being able to see him and hang out with him after having not for such a long period of time. CHOES BEFORE HOES ain't no joke. Cooper(Jake's best friend from back home) also arrived in Seoul a few days ago and he is awesome... as expected. The rapport they have with each other is actually quite adorable.. they're like an old married couple.. they even kind of look alike..... weird. Beards of a feather, they flock together.

Korea Round II has still been fun, but it's definitely different. We rolled with such a large crew last semester that we could pretty much form a crazy waegook dance party anytime and anywhere.. it was nice knowing that we were all we needed and... wait for it... MORE. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I miss you, you, you, you, and you (pointing fingers around worldwide) We need to start scheduling Skype dates soon, ok?

P.S. Pat showed me Crispin Glover's short film entitled "Clowny Clown Clown" which has basically confirmed my suspicions that Crispin Glover is fucking crazy insane... but also totally kind of awesome. I guess it didn't take much to figure that out. Anyways, check it. It's fucking twisted. Honestly, I am not a big fan of clowns.. but mostly, of things in disguises. Word.

Longer update soon. Promise.

first week of school

I miss the smiles that Gelly gives me when I give her a snack she secretly wants but is too afraid/polite to ask for.
I miss touching Amy's face in hopes of creeping her out.. even though she says it doesn't work.. hmph.
I miss the magical hand hugs with Ryo.
I miss James' intensity when he talks about comic books.... or Indiana Jones.. haha
I miss pushing Angie over and her hysterical laughter in response to me doing so.
I miss going totally bonkers over cute shit with Jason(although he appears aloof on the exterior.. "pshyeh, panda sneeze?"
I miss going crazy over sigur ros with Katharina.
I miss Silvia's adorable and unique laugh.
I miss Seth's stories of how he's totally a minor celebrity in Korea.



Do you guys get it? I totally miss you all. Every single one of you. Even the person that I always saw on the way to class, in KLI sheekdang, in the study lounge, in the hallways of Korean.. but never even really knew the name of. Ughh.. why do I always fall victim to this stupid/great thing called nostalgia? I am not going to use the word reminisce.. I don't know why but I hate that word. I feel like it belongs in some Brian McKnight song or similar. But I digress..

So today was the first day of KLI. I haven't slept much at all in the days since I've been back from the trip.. I don't know why. I know it'll fall back into place sooner or later.. but sometimes I go into times when I can't sleep.. so I've been in this half-awake and super delirious zombie mode... already completely disoriented because hey it's weird to see that again or whoa can't process the fact that I'm actually back. Anyway.. I missed my first class .. completely. I didn't go and it was the first day. Can you believe it? I drink a small can of iced coffee and whenever I'm feeling stressed out, caffeine is NOT good for me. I was in a complete disarray, basically I'm just completely out of my mind. The chaos of it all.. the cyclical nature of that chaos.. and how it feels both gross and how it's kind of a relief at the same time... bizarrely enough. I remember that Pat's in a certain room and I'm looking for anyone familiar at this point. I see him and pretty much explode through the doorway completely bat shit crazy. I look at him and let out probably a barely discernable sentence to any normal person.. I'm sure it just sounded like a really shrill hodge podge. Pat could probably only figure out what I was saying because he's known me and my neurosis for a pretty ok amount of time now... I don't know. I guess I miss people that can understand, and even learn to love, my tendency to be a huge nut case.

O.k. now I'm continuing this blog.. no longer the first day of KLI.
The first week of school is over... somewhat successfully. I think I'll enjoy my classes this semester.. although it seems that I'll actually have to study and gasp, attend class! I think it will be gratifying though. Here's a quick run down on my classes..

-Art History: Well, yeh.. I missed the first day of it already.. and I hear you can only miss 2 days otherwise your grade will be lowered a whole letter grade. What the fuck? On Tuesday, it starts at 9am... and I am pretty notorious for missing my morning classes. No one thinks I can do it.. Hell, I don't even think I can do it. Ah well. We'll see. The teacher is kind of boring so far.. and right now we're discussing cave paintings...... ughh. She likes to call on random students with random ass questions... fine, I'll agree to being called on if no one is responding to your question... but nope. She just calls on people and then asks the question. Not fair. We'll see... Peter says it gets better. Hope so.

-North Korea and Modernity: On recommendation from Gelly. The teacher is really really cool... the class seems interesting so far although we haven't really gotten into anything heavy yet... still going through the introductory period where it's just a really broad overview and such... it's funny because he was asking some rhetorical questions in order to relay to the next broad overarching topic for discussion.. and people would answer with the obvious answers... to which the teacher responded, "Uh.. yes.. but it was more of a rhetorical question." Later on it happened again, and he just said "hm... yeh.. maybe I shouldn't ask these questions." Heh heh.

-East Asian Philosophy in Literature: Mind blowingly awesome. I don't have any background in philosophy so I expect my mind to get fucking WORKED.

-Korean: For everyone who was here last semester, the structure of the courses has been reworked.. there are all new books... much to my dismay since I have James' textbooks from last semester. Balls. So I had to purchase a whole new set which cost me a whopping 58,000 Won! Twice as much as last semester! At least it's not as bad as beginner 2 books.. they're 68,000. Total shit. I was actually in Beginning 2 initially since I didn't take the placement test.. but one day, I was sitting in class when my reading teacher from last semester walked in.. in tow was Kent Davies( "the old guy" from last semester).. apparently he tried to go into her class, and our teacher was like 'what the heck are you doing here?" since he took level 1.5 last semester and she is currently teaching Level 1. Then we find out that level 2.. actually, still no one is 100% certain of what level 2 is now.. we find out that MAYBE it's this semester's 1.5(although there is a current 1.5 in existence now)... I have no idea. So our teacher takes us into Beginning 3 instead.. I have Tiffany Ahn's teacher from last semester.. the guy teacher. Sitting in class, I realized that I was the worst one among all of them.. much to my embarrassment, all of the non-Korean people are better than me... AHH! (I realize that I already told a bajillion people this story.. but here's to the ones that I haven't told.. sorry for the repetitiveness)... The teacher tells us random words for stock exchange, or trading company.. and asks the class, 'You guys all know this.. right?"... to which everyone nods and the annoying ass cocky girl next to me is like "mmMm".. she says this after everything the teacher says, in order to make sure he knows that she knows... fucking kill me. I'm so stressed out that I can't pay attention and am praying that he won't call on me.. every time he even looks at me, I just scribble into my notebook at a furious pace to make it seem like i am yulsheemi kongbuheh-ing (studying earnestly).. he gives us our 10 minute break, and the annoying girl next to me goes, "Ugh.. this is all review to me. I already know all of this. I have to go up a level." to which I respond, "OH my god. You totally should.".. she tells me this is her 4th semester of Korean, so I tell her "Then yeh.. this is ridiculous.. you should definitely go up a level.".... who knows? I might be sending her to a grave, but who cares? She's out of my life! Nice!

Anyway, since so many people were trying to go up or down a level.. the teacher gave us an impromptu quiz to determine who really belonged in the class.. holy shit. Cold sweat. He gives us a writing test... I suck at spelling.. and then a speaking quiz in front of the entire class! Everyone before me gets easy questions like, "What's your favorite food?".. or "What do you like to do on the weekends?".. He tells me a word I don't know... so I have to tell him in front of everyone, that I don't know what he is saying. Next he asks me if I have seen any Korean movies.. I tell him "Yes.. Old Boy".. he asks me to explain the plot. What?? Now I'm kicking myself because I could've chosen a simpler movie.. even in English, Old Boy is pretty difficult to explain. I mean, god.. I don't even begin to know how to say "revenge" or "sex with your daughter" in Korean... now I'm panicking.. I probably look like a total asshole.. so I just say "have you seen the movie?? it's too difficult to explain!"(in Korean of course).. he responded, "Yeh.. you're right. It is too hard) Whew. Saved. Anyway, the class is getting easier now.. probably because I'm not in a constant panic mode. I still think the class is pretty hard but I think it'll force me to study.. so I don't have to be the class dumbass.

It's really weird being back at school.. walking through the halls of KLI. The place is so familiar but all of the new faces aren't. I used to enjoy the 10 minute breaks during Korean because I'd get to see all of my friends in the hallway... but now it's kind of terrifying.

O.k. so that's my first week of school... in a crazy ass nutshell from a crazy ass nutcase.
All 720 of my pictures from my trip are already up on my facebook.. enjoy!
Take care guys. Miss you all... as always.

Deportation is a funny thing...

I want to preface this blog post by saying.. damnit James. I read your stupid blog all the time.. so I'm expecting a picture posted of the essence of my soul soon as well. And it better be fucking snappy.

Anyway..... sooooo... wow. I guess I'll start with the deportation... "deportation" story first since that seems to be the most interest provoking topic. I have to start off the story with first explaining that Peter, Pat, and I had been on a 20 hour train from Hong Kong to Shanghai... we were restless as all hell and had absolutely nothing to do. I had listened to my ipod for hours on end until it died... boo. Pat & Peter were in the dining car having a drink so I decided to go track them down since I had nothing else to do.. I'd been sitting in darkness for a few hours already, and in my haste, I forgot to put my glasses on before I left.. so my vision's just a blurry mess as I go stumbling and stomping through the hallways of the train. I'm pretty sure I looked cuh-RAZY. Anyway, I get there and apparently they're bored as all hell too.... so we just started to crush peanut shells much to the dismay of the train attendants. Don't worry.. we cleaned it all up. So we eventually head back to our beds still too bored to even fall asleep.. so we pretty much go completely ape shit and revert back to childhood. Or feisty toddlerhood. Feral ass motherfuckers. There is absolutely NOTHING to do so we just start beating the shit out of each other. I mean poking, prodding, punching, kicking... holy shit. We've gone absolutely bonkers. Finally we just exhausted ourselves from such activities and passed out.. I don't even remember doing so. We get into Shanghai pretty much all RUMPLEstiltskin-ed out and relieved to be experiencing fresh air again... ugggh it was total cabin fever. We go through immigration procedures when... wait.. no.... we're stopped and escorted into a small office... oh... shit.. what the hell is going on?

We get sat down while all these security guards are filing in and out of the room.. all the while casting sidelong glances at us. We get introduced to an extremely amiable fellow who quickly introduces himself as such... "Hi! I'm Alex Lau. But you can call me Alex... or Captain Lau." Turns out we need a multiple entry Chinese to go through Hong Kong.. ohhhhh myyyy gaaaaaaaaaaawd. Rewind to a day or some random amount of time before... Me: "hey.. do you think we need a multiple entry visa to get back into China?"... Pat: "No.. i don't think so"... although by the time I said it, it was pretty much already too late. We tried to reason with the guy.. explaining that we didn't know... and also, god damnit, wasn't Hong Kong a part of China? So we weren't going to be let into Shanghai at all.. not even for the day. We asked to be taken the airport and told them we'd fly out that day if we could.. but we were denied. They told us that they would be sending us back on the very next train which was in about 4 hours... but they were nice enough to buy us lunch and then a hotel room to wait in until we had to go. Still.. it was total fuck nuts. We are such dumbasses. We couldn't even get mad about it.. it was our own damn fault.

So we get escorted out of the Shanghai station followed by about 5 or 6 guards.. 2 in the front, the rest in the back. We totally looked like criminals. They took us to the restaurant in the hotel and we decided that we wanted to order the most expensive shit on the menu.. but boooooo.. we were denied again. The menu is completely in Chinese so we were helpless.. one of the female guards jumps in to order for us.. and she is just nooooot very nice. We asked for certain things to eat but didn't really get anything we asked for.. she wouldn't even let us drink any booze. Damnit lady. Wouldn't you need booze after a huge ordeal like that? What she ended up ordering for us was chicken.. which was pretty okay except that the face of the chicken was left on the plate. It was staring at me the entire meal.... except it was only half the head. If you flipped it over.. as Pat did.. it revealed a hodge-podge of brains, gooey gross shit, and whatever the hell else is inside a chicken head. We asked for duck... and we were brought these gray, cold, and verrrrry unappetizing pieces of chopped up duck neck. slkdfjsdkfjkldfskjsdfjsf!! We tried it but it was just kind of weird and bleh. There were mushrooms and baby bok choy in some sort of sauce that was alright.. we also had some bland noodle soup. Peter got up to go ask the lady for rice... they were sitting about 20 feet away from us at the "adult table" since we were apparently at the little kiddie table. In about 5-10 minutes, the surly waitress appears and plops down a giant bowl of god knows what soup. Seriously. Only god knew what. It was white, and thick, and filled with little rice cake(dduk) pieces. We tried it and BLEEECHHH!! It was sweet and ahhhhhhhh what the hell is this?? We wonder if we should ask for more food.. and we're all reluctant to get back up and ask scary lady for more food.. Peter retorts, "Well.. you saw what happened when I asked for something." which put a funny image in my head of Peter asking for more things.. like say.. where the bathroom is or what the capital of Ukraine is... and then the response every time would be a huge thud.. and then appears another bowl of yuck soup. Pretty soon our table would be creaking under the weight of like..... 10 bowls of it. Oh dear.

So every time we looked over at their table, they seemed to stare right back at us. We were pretty much being treated like children and instead of proving them wrong.. I guess we kind of just acted like some. It was hilarious because all of these movie cliches were occurring... and we were playing into them as much as they were playing out in front if us. We discussed the idea of a possible escape... to where it would lead to a wild chaotic chase scene where the mean lady would yell out, "CATCH THOSE KIDS!!" And then suddenly all of the adults in the room would join the chase as we just completely wreak havoc on the dining floor.. no table or chair goes unturned. And then there would be a giant ogre of a man, probably mustached, who would be blocking the doorway to freedom.. his arms outstretched... his only mistake, which would result in his failure.. would be having his legs opened.... as we slid underneath them and out the door out of his reach. Pat and I pretty much had the same idea... maybe because we grew up in the Home Alone generation or whatever. Plan B would be that I would throw the giant bowl of soup into the wall and it would melt the wall.. also resulting in our freedom to romp around Shanghai. Peter's plan was that he would slowly disappear from their line of vision.. by slowly backing away from the table.. by the end of the meal, he was about 1 1/2 - 2 feet away from the table... haha.. he also said he just wanted to throw his shoe at them.

We get left with tons of food that we just find unappealing.. and we just think to ourselves... damnit. We can't just leave all this here.. they will not be happy. So we agree that we will just dump whatever we didn't finish into the giant bowl of soup.. which is pretty much like sending things into oblivion. We plop the little duck neck pieces and then stir it a little bit in order to fully conceal the lumps. Success! We then decide that we want dessert... since none of us were really satisfied with the meal. Pat goes over to the table and asks mean lady if we can order dessert.. she responds by handing him a small bowl of some weird gelly substance(doesn't look too different from yuck soup) and says "Here.. you can have one". He comes back and we stare at the strange dessert before tasting it... uggghh! Gross! It's like the bastard son of the soup!! Guess what we did? Yeh.. uh huh.. we sent it back to the mothership... the giant bowl of yuck soup. Pat wonders if we should order any more food.. and I say, "I don't know.. we don't have much more room in this soup." which is pretty much about to brim over the bowl. Ohhhhh jebus. We are just bored bored bored... and we decide to let them finish their meal before we get sent off into our rooms... but ladkjfkjdsf damnit.. every time we look over at them, they have more and more food arriving! They just won't quit! And all of their food looked infinitely better than ours.. hmph.

We later get sent to our rooms.... heh. Then I find out that I had to be separate from the boys because as mean lady said, "Because you are a female and they are males".... what! No fun. The rooms are REALLY nice though... but when I get into the room, they immediately send me into the bedroom and close the door... while apparently they'd be camping out in the living room area. Bullocks. I ask to go to the bathroom and immediately steal the toiletries... then I go back into the room and try to find anything that I can successfully steal. I even contemplated taking the robe but then decided it was too big to pack into my already full backpack. I flip on the telly only to find Bono staring back at me. GRRRROOOOOOOAAAAANNN!(Hi RYO!) I finally settle on a soccer/football match between China and North Korea. god did it suck. The game was pretty much a joke as neither team was very good at all... the best part of the game was when some guy got a red card for pretty much kicking some guy.

Anyway, that's the story folks. Sorry I worried you folks with my facebook status update. Expect more updates to come... unfortunately for you guys, I'm not done talking about this trip just yet.